In a burst of enthusiasm, I allowed my hyper-critical self to indulge. Excessively!! After all “careful evaluation does a songwriter make”. And what else is there to do during the Oscar boring-bits than flip through Facebook?
“15 Things To Give Up” is trending & I see these points posted separately on various occasion – no one ever seems to have the audacity to contradict them, so I’m diving in. No apologies, no justifications, just an anti pop-psychology rant over using words cheaply. After all, denial is NEVER the way to go.
1. Doubting Yourself. You should doubt yourself, as we all know the over-zealous, over-confident ego has an incredible ability to self-deceive. I don’t doubt myself after 2 martini’s… and I probably should. The ability to keep oneself in check & be conscious of our limits is a very needed tool for growth and success. Doubt yourself. Allow yourself to go through it: to have a little think… And after careful evaluation, you’ll experience true confidence.
2. Negative Thinking. It may sound strange, but try to think about this in Art terminology, like “negative space”. For instance, thinking that extracts, but also creates a better impact. So, what exactly does “negative” mean?
3. Fear of Failure. Wouldn’t it be great if X Factor wanna-be’s were *just* a… little afraid of failure? Knowing our limits is actually good. Having a dash of respect for a science might help us to stop taking other peoples jobs & start pursuing our own dreams. This helps the world go round. Fear of failure can also be a nice springboard for a better performance.
4. Destructive Relationships. It’s actually good to maintain (but loosely) one of these among all your perfect life-giving relationships. They help you understand what not to do/say & how to be good towards your Real Friends. And maybe, learn how to troubleshoot! Not being afraid of a strong dissertation, a respectable argument, and a little “drama” is actually called “Maturity”. Believing in what people are capable of is reasonable, and can sometimes give another redemption/hope.
5. Gossiping. If you want to, do it. Let it bite you in the ass. It’ll help you become a better person if you feel the sting from a boomerang of words. Which gives us more respect for what we say, because if words are powerful, then how about using them to build & not destroy?
6. Criticising Yourself & Others. It’s automatic: we judge others according to how we judge ourselves. Sure, no one died & made me God. Yet, if we have no standards for ourselves, we also allow others to treat us with little value.
7. Anger. I read somewhere that anger is a natural response to protect what we value. Get angry. Just learn to use it as a tool for rebuilding, protecting, and taking a stand against. After all, what you’re against, teaches others what you are for.
8. Comfort Eating. This really isn’t a problem if it’s salad. I would suggest using something with more “weight” to help create new habits: MONEY. So, while in the “I’m going to be healthy” zone, drop some dough on tasty raw super foods.
9. Laziness. Let’s not mistake this for the Commandment to Rest. Attempt to drive anything into the ground & see if it functions. Human machines need rest. On the flip side, what exactly is laziness? What do we treat with disdain or as base, for start? Do we go out of our way to communicate, speak our expectations or do we assume others can read our minds? Cause I would deem that as “lazy”. Taking someone for granted – lazy. Or speaking with little diction – I find this lazy. Laziness creates accidents, like the failure to use one’s blinker, because we “can’t be bothered”. Laziness begs for arguments & bothers everyone else around sending signals of narcissism.
10. Negative Self-Talk (NST). Again – another term under question. I find sheer gratitude for others & self-less-ness can be easily misunderstood as “NST”; which can say something about the listeners maturity or ego. There’s a time to not pretend you’re an equal and find peace locking into the receiving end of someone else’s genuis. I also find contentedness in understanding my weaknesses – then I don’t have to take on or save the world. A great deal of weight, stress, and destruction can be averted by something we could call NST. It’s often misperceived in true humility, but again, like art, the negative could point to the positive. Not only that, but most people need feel acceptance through the allowance of a darker version of NST in order to grow into better people. This one needs a lengthier discussion.
11. Procrastination. Shouldn’t be confused with “timing”. For those of you who are all-American can-do-it-on-all coupled with I-want-it-now, procrastination might not be such a bad thing. It might even help understand how to enjoy “the journey” or see a bigger picture, give room for clarity, and the list goes on.
12. Fear of Success. Let’s face it, success = responsibility. We should fear success, for it is a very big responsibility & should be treated as such.
13. Anything Excessive. Please tell this to Denny’s and every other diner that has a menu bigger than Victoria Beckham’s closet. As it’s been proven excessive choices leave us undecided. But then again, jack of all trades is master of nothing. Focused excessive- with the best parts of your personality, your unique talents & skills, makes the world a better place. If this world is a puzzle, who are we missing?
14. People Pleasing. Is actually very good when it looks like diplomacy. And when it teaches us how to choose battles. Children love this concept when the reward is a chocolate bar. On that note, if Hershey’s were to abide by this rule, they wouldn’t dish out a low-ball (because-we-can-get-away-with-it/no one expects better) worthless, waxy chocolate & indecent version of Cadburys (to skip rant move on to 15) They’ve done a great injustice to a bean that should be treated as Divine. It’s sad there’s only so many cocoa beans on this planet and an incredible amount of them end up defiled by this company. Grrrr.
15. Putting Others Needs Before Your Own. I have a lot to say about this. But I won’t. What others need is respect. Respect for the rules, so life (traffic) flows. Respect for feelings – because our entitlement mindset might just get in the way of being able to communicate effectively. Respect for others things. If we choose to put others first, we might find out that we’ll always be invited, always be wanted, always be respected in return. And if not, then perhaps the inability to please helped discover another relationship to put into the “destructive” pile.
Feel free to add, reject, rant right back! And for those of you wondering, the above is the original songwriting sketch from the very much loved, never nominated, “Just You & Me”.